“A couple of weeks ago, Dominic Raab, the Deputy Prime Minister for the United Kingdom, praised what he called an ‘important’ debate in Parliament. He was referring to a law effective April 6, under which married couples no longer have to name any faults before seeking a divorce. What Mr. Raab and our friends across the Pond should do is look before they leap. A look at the American experience reveals how this so-called ‘freedom’ has played out here, and the enduring scars it’s left upon children. In the early 1970s, an incredible (and incredibly sad) study was launched, which was later published in book form under the title The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce. It told some of the tragic stories of these children. Drs. Judith Wallerstein and Julia Lewis interviewed over a hundred children of divorce in California, hoping to get at the real-world impact of divorce on the increasing number of children growing up in broken homes. They didn’t only interview these individuals as children, but also followed them over the next 25 years. What this study found was devastating. As one reviewer described their findings: ‘Only seven of the 131 children from the original sample experienced a post-divorce home in which they had a good relationship with a step-parent. At this 25-year mark, only 60 percent had contracted for marriage. Two-thirds of the sample decided not to have children.’ This story is about far more than stats. It’s about the heartbreaking impact divorce had on these kids’ lives. There’s the woman who almost 30 years later could still see in her mind the details of ‘the sun striking the patterns on the living room carpet’ the day her father left when she was only 4. There’s the boy who refused to take off his heavy coat at school despite the day’s heat in case he’d have to leave at a moment’s notice. There’s the little girl who kept telling her teacher about her new baby brother, except there was no baby, only her little heart’s plea to imagine her parents were still together. Then, there was the 5-year-old who said she needed a new mommy because hers had been ‘a tense, cranky, unavailable stranger.’ There are times when divorce is necessary, but it is always tragic in the same sense as when catastrophic cures like amputation or chemotherapy are necessary. To pretend otherwise is a dangerous fantasy. The Bible sees marriage as a lifelong bond between a man and a woman, but, recognizing the frailty of human nature after the Fall, it allows for divorce in extreme cases, such as abandonment, adultery, or abuse.”
“No Fault Divorce Ignores Data, Science, and Children,” BreakPoint, Jan. 24, 2022